Decisions

Everyone we have met in our lives has had an impact on what we believe.  Teachers teach us what they want us to know.  Preachers teach us what they want us to believe.  Governments tell us what they want us to do.  Parents teach us what they think is right and wrong.  Friends teach us what they think is cool.

All of these influences have conditioned us to see the world a certain way.

However,

Why should we follow the misguided beliefs and rules others make for us?

What do they know more than ourselves about how we should live our lives and what decisions we should make?

Ultimately, you know what is best for you.  You know it.  Follow your heart and do what it is screaming for you to do.  Let it out and see what happens.

Wanting

From a young age, specifically infanthood, I wanted.  When I wanted I cried creating suffering for myself. 

If I received what I wanted I would be temporarily pacified.  However, with time, I would want again and cry again, restarting the cycle of suffering.  If I was not rewarded with the thing I wanted, I cried harder and even harder until I received the thing pacifying my suffering, received punishment increasing my suffering or gave up extending my suffering over time. 

The very act of wanting presents stress.  The fear of not getting.  The hope of getting.  Emotional tugging of both producing a rollercoaster of feelings.  Worst of all, wanting and not getting or just the thought of possibly not getting produces sadness, suffering, jealousy, anger, envy.

It is not wrong to want.  It is not wrong to strive to get what I want.  How else would anything be obtained?  Understanding the desire and knowing why it is there is important.  To avoid suffering for a want, I observe my mind and understand its motivations whether it be for security, jealousy, pleasure, avoidance of pain, etc. Understanding any desire is created to avoid pain or experience pleasure, I can observe my mind's attempt to protect itself from both failure and disappointment. 

After fully observing, I become free of the emotional response to the want.  I am unattached from the outcome of the want.  And that is the ultimate goal, to seek my wants but be emotionally unattached to the outcome of those efforts.

As an infant or child even, I was not capable of understanding the source of my suffering.  As an adult, I can learn how I perceive my mind.  I can witness my thoughts and the emotions tied to them. 

Many of my loved friends and family fail to take the time to truly learn who they are.  I see them suffering for their unattained wants and I am saddened.  I am in pain for them.  I suffer for them.  However, I can see my mind's emotional attachment to the relief of their suffering and my personal pain is releived.  I understand that even if they receive the thing, they will again suffer for the next want.  I continue to seek an end to their pain.  This message is one of those efforts.  However, I no longer suffer for them at this moment.

I still often find myself in a depressed state.  Looking inward seems too hard.  I enjoy my lower state and refuse to look for the exit.  But just a moment, a quick breath above the surface encouraged by a passing bird or stunning sunrise inspires me to stop and quiet my mind.  I then, almost instantaneously, see the flawed protectionist strategies my mind is trying to implement.  Just as soon as I recognize this, I am free of its devastating effects and can Love myself once again.

Quiet + Observation = Freedom

The Diligent Ant

Grain by grain, builds his bed. 
Day by day, stacks the dirt. 
Hour by hour, digs the tunnel.
In an instant his home is destroyed.
His family of multitudes maintain support.
Love endures.
Grain by grain he builds his bed.

Reach that Place

To reach that place is desired.  For years of practice led to today.  The day that is better than the one before.  The day where vision exceeds effort.  The day to wake and become asleep simultaneously. 

Love Remains

Awake to a new day. Completely free to create. Completely free to venture Completely free to release the past. Yet, with subconscious dismay, continuation of routine seems a necessity. Romantic illusions remain hidden and effortlessly escape from an unguarded fortress once skillfully designed to enlighten a single life.

To love life is to love.

But why?  Why do we push aside our desires and passions?  Is it because we have responsibilities?  Are we too concerned with what others think?  Or maybe we just don't know what moves us and what gives us true life.  How can we know?  It isn't taught in school, nor is it learned by example from astute mentors.

What I know about passion is this:  Very Little!  The exclamation was intentional.  Passion cannot be exclaimed in words, not even if you include hash tags.  It is something deep in us all.  Passion is elusive for some but comes quite naturally for others.  There are many Biographies of successful people who were intimate with their passion.  It exudes from them.   Everyone knows, it is no secret and these individuals move closer with each breath, reaching and grasping for that one area of their life that screams Pursue Me!

I have yet to find a specific "thing" that drives my life.  I love my family but they seem more of a joyful responsibility than a pure purpose.  My family is a gift and a wonderful addition to my life.  I work every day to provide, nourish and care for them individually as if they are each the only person on earth.  I am passionate about my family but aren't most?

Of the many lessons I have learned in my short time, two stand out the most:  happiness doesn't drag its feet and time goes faster than you think - does that remind you of a country song?  Much time can be spent thinking and planning when it should be valued by living and loving.  While at this point I feel passionless, I do know from personal experience, happiness involves Love to a high degree.

Love the noun, not the scripted fantasy we see in our plethora of TV, movie and techno-entertainment.

Of these three, the greatest is love

Love by most definitions involves a specific person, but I feel it on a grander scale.  Feel is a good word to describe Love.  Even practicing loving-kindness for the time it takes to snap the fingers is beneficial. Each drop of practice is significant and, as the Buddha said, “with dripping drops of water, the water jug is filled.”

As in most things, the belief in Love is helpful before Love can be seen.  If belief is harnessed it will provide all that is necessary for a powerful existence.

Belief not in a person, god or religion, belief that fear can only be imagined. In the beginning there was only Love and in the end Love will remain. Love is absolute. Nothing else is real. All life is Love.

A Life

To save a life
To betray a friend
To intercept fate
To recognize 

A beautiful existence
A meaningful devotion
A purposeful responsibility
A loving child